If You Want to Join the Middle Class, Get Married Before Having Children
The think tanks make decisions for you now. You're welcome!
This is the third and final step on the Success Sequence, a three-stage plan proposed by think tanks such as the Brookings Institution that is supposed to increase your chances of escaping poverty in the United States.
To recap, the steps are:
Graduate high school
Get a full-time job
Get married before having children
If you follow each step, many think tanks, right-wing commentators, and upper-class old-school Democrats believe that you’ll have the best shot of escaping poverty and joining the “middle class.”
NOTE:
This is not an issue of- “Oh, right-wing institutions are saying this, and I think they’re wrong.” Commentators from all parts of the political spectrum use these talking points with the goal of strengthening society. The Brookings Institution is consistently rated as non-partisan and “centrist.” My question is- are we asking the right questions? Is fixing society really on each individual and their choices? Or are choices a result of broader societal and economic trends?
The “Destruction of the Nuclear Family”
A very common right-wing talking point is that society’s ills can be linked to the destruction of the nuclear family. Some common proponents include the America First Policy Institute, the Acton Institute, Fox News, The Association of Mature American Citizens (for the elderly who think AARP is too left-wing), and many, many, many religious institutions.
Some other terms you may hear are “fatherlessness,” “two-parent households,” or “traditional family.” Do we need to differentiate between this very specific conception of “family” and the idea of “marrying before having children” that’s recommended by the Brookings Institution? Are they different?
In my opinion, the main difference is that the Brooking Institution’s version, that is, “delay childbearing until after marriage,” is a churched-up edict that expands the nuclear family to include same-sex couples that are excluded by the right’s conception of the nuclear family containing one father, who worked outside the home, and one mother, who worked inside the home.
It’s a new conservatism for an “inclusive” age.
Now that we’ve got some semantics out of the way-
Childbirth and Women’s Economic Prospects
Having children kneecaps American women's earnings. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says that around 71% of mothers in the United States work full or part-time. The Census Bureau estimates that in the period between 2 years pre-birth, and 1 year after birth, the earnings gap between opposite-sex couples doubles. The gap persists until the child turns 10, and then it starts to narrow, but never completely goes away.
So regardless of when women have children, their earnings will likely take a hit in some way. There is some research suggesting that working at companies with equal gender representation at the executive level can offer working mothers some relief from the motherhood penalty, but nothing super substantial.
Does having children before (or outside of) marriage penalize women even further? How does it affect men?
Does delaying childbirth until after marriage give you a better chance of joining the middle class?
Most studies on this topic split parents into three categories; single parents, cohabitating, and married. This is the breakdown as of 2017-
In this same Pew study, they found that 1/4 of single parents fell below the poverty threshold and that 16% of cohabitating, two-parent households are below the poverty level.
For a more recent look at the data, I turned to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, a federal body beneath the Department of Justice. In 2021, they found that 16% of all family configurations with children under 18 were below the poverty level. Out of that 16%- see the breakdown below.
When children are in the mix, being married correlates strongly with being above the poverty level. Much stronger than I anticipated, to be honest.
Summary
Being married with children gives you a better chance of being above the poverty line, than staying unmarried with children does. Does this mean that marriage makes you rich? No. Likely, this means that the middle class has different cultural values than lower classes, marriage being one of them. We can’t for sure say which direction these trends point, but we do know that there are certain values and traditions associated with different cultures.
For example, Brad Wilcox, a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia polled a class of 200 undergrads on three questions:
Is it morally wrong to have a baby outside of marriage?
Do you personally plan to finish your education, work full-time, marry, and then have children?
Would your parents be upset if they found out you were having a baby outside of marriage?
He notes that “the class of approximately 200 students was diverse geographically, racially, and ethnically.” The makeup of this class was majority upper middle class to wealthy, and 80% of their parents were still together.
Their answers are surprising;
1/3 of the class said it’s "morally wrong to have a baby outside of marriage.”
97% of the class planned to delay childbearing until after marriage.
All but one of the students (so 99%) said their parents would be upset about them having a baby outside of marriage.
This shows that cultural values are complex and sometimes “hypocritcal.” What we’re okay with on a theoretical level doesn’t always mean we’re okay with it in our actual lives.
Next week I’ll do an overview and summarize my findings- for now, think about the things you value. Why do you value them?
Do you think marriage is important? Why? Do you think education is important? Expand on those thoughts!